altaschith: (hyssop)
chaos ([personal profile] altaschith) wrote2013-08-19 12:58 am

remember what you feel in this moment. remember this. remember this.

i miss you.

[they were lying in bed together not even thirty minutes ago, when Wilhelm finally had to get up, and finally had to get dressed, and finally had to go into the office for the first time in two weeks... but, yeah. but still. but chaos still misses him a great deal.]
avodah: (while chinless men)

[personal profile] avodah 2018-08-19 05:18 am (UTC)(link)
[He has pulled into the parking lot of his building, and--it's his building--this building of his is where his responsibilities lie--he has pulled into its parking lot, and he doesn't want to leave his car. He wants to restart the car and drive back to his home, where something even better lies. He can envision, still, Joshua lying in his bed, his bare legs tangled in Wilhelm's dark sheets, his cheek resting on his arm. Wilhelm can see him and he can still smell him, the natural scent of him when Wilhelm's face is aligned with his shoulder blade. Ah, maybe that's him clinging to the collar of Wilhelm's shirt...

Wilhelm doesn't drive home, but he still hasn't gotten out of the car, either.]


Will you think of me, today? Here and there?
avodah: (here's where things start getting weird)

[personal profile] avodah 2018-08-19 06:04 am (UTC)(link)
[Wilhelm's thumb hovers over the keyboard on his phone. He thinks uncharitably, for a moment, for more than a moment. His uncharitable thoughts remind him, and would like to remind Joshua, that Joshua found it fine to let his mind wander while his body wandered the Tunisian coast and the ruins of Carthage. Then he thinks of Joshua's eyes. They supersede that ancient shore in their color and their everlasting curve. He thinks of the way Joshua's eyes moved over him as he buttoned his shirt while dressing. And he doesn't feel uncharitable, now, and he doesn't find a thing that calls for charity. He thinks only of Joshua's eyes, and not the infidelity of his feet.]

You'll likely think of me for as long as you're in the bed.

But you can lie there and eat some breakfast, if you would like to do that.
avodah: (brush up on the uralic syntaxes)

[personal profile] avodah 2018-08-19 06:40 am (UTC)(link)
I can attend to the sheets, Joshua. It's not a hardship.

What would you do if you were at home? Would you eat in bed?


[It's an odd sort of answer to anticipate--stranger still to hold his breath for it.]
avodah: (--the world that is--)

[personal profile] avodah 2018-08-19 07:19 am (UTC)(link)
You can do that. You can do any one of those things, or all of them. You can take your time,

Since I've told you to make yourself at home.

You can take your time.
avodah: (tenuous at best was all he had to say)

[personal profile] avodah 2018-08-19 02:27 pm (UTC)(link)
It's going to be a long day.

You know,


[...]

You could be here with me, another day. It's a comfortable office. The windows are wide and the view reaches far. If there comes a day when you would like to get up out of bed, you could sit with me.

[Perhaps instead of leaving the bed and then the country too.]
avodah: (greek cypriots and hobis-hots)

[personal profile] avodah 2018-08-19 11:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Ah, have you heard that. Is that what you've been hearing. I wonder where.

Why don't you tell me what dessert you'd like to eat tonight? You will perhaps have had dinner by then, so I shall offer you a bookend, and bring you one last thing to have in bed for the night.
avodah: (love of hate acts as an axis)

[personal profile] avodah 2018-08-20 12:01 am (UTC)(link)
[Wilhelm is left to wonder where Joshua might be, right now. Is he in the bed? Is he in the side of the bed where Wilhelm slept? Is he in Wilhelm's shower, is he covered in Wilhelm's soap--is he in the kitchen or in a room all made of glass and filled with green? Is he still in Wilhelm's house? Is he walking away?

Ah, he's offering another breath into Wilhelm's bloodstream.]


It's a good night for those. It will be a good night for that. I would like to guarantee it as an instance to remember.

Today gives us just enough time to think about tonight. I won't be away for longer than that.
avodah: (tenuous at best was all he had to say)

[personal profile] avodah 2018-08-27 11:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes, you did tell me that.

[Wilhelm is thinking of all the different chocolates a man might be able to buy.]

You can have both, you know. A gift, and then to be beside me.
avodah: (will scratch their beards)

[personal profile] avodah 2018-09-09 06:13 pm (UTC)(link)
[Wilhelm wouldn't believe you, if you were to tell him he's short-sighted. He's been called a visionary, and he has a vision. This vision may differ from what the magazines assume, but it's there, and it's everlasting. He couldn't be short-sighted...

Even if he is perusing the nearby florists.]


Why don't you call me at 2 o'clock?

You may order in for lunch, if you'd like. My card is in the nightstand drawer; there are menus available there.


[They're menus in the style of Joshua's favorite cuisines, of course. And the majority of them are for family-owned restaurants, often hole-in-the-wall spots with bicycle delivery services. That sort of thing. Wilhelm is a visionary and he is well-prepared.

Never mind his own lunch.]
avodah: (will scratch their beards)

[personal profile] avodah 2018-10-06 07:28 pm (UTC)(link)
[Wilhelm sends, first, six digits, and then he explains,]

For the delivery. This allows entry past the front lobby. Please instruct the delivery to come all the way to the top floor.

[The delivery person will need to receive their tip, after all.

Then, as a courtesy, Wilhelm sends an email from his phone to the colleague whose offices take the floor just below Wilhelm's. He thanks the colleague for his efforts throughout Wilhelm's personal leave, and sends his appreciation for their scheduled lunch meeting. Unfortunately, it now conflicts with a vital matter, although this colleague is welcome to meet with him for a quarter of an hour later in the day. Wilhelm sends just as much appreciation for his understanding. "You keep us going, Kevin," he writes, and ends it with that.

He gets work done, between then and two o'clock, but not enough. And he cares about that, but not enough. At last, he has read the same three lines of an internal memo for the past nine minutes, because his eyes keep flicking away from his screen to look at his phone. He's waiting for the call. He's waiting for the call. He knows he will hear it ring when it rings, but he looks for it regardless. And when it does ring, the bloom inside him is a time-lapse feed, the unfurling fast and overmuch.

In answering his phone, he does not sigh.]
Joshua; hello. [But his voice has the quality of gleaming candlelight on porcelain. He does not sound like he's straining, but he is straining to hear any background noise, any shuffle or creak. He wants to know what to be jealous toward, whether he shall remain in envy of what his bed sheets touch, or whether something else has come to collect Joshua's body. Sunlight itself might be more privileged than Wilhelm.

What he says is unlike the appreciation afforded to Kevin Winnicot, the most diligent of his employees--]


Thank you for calling.

[--but it's still pristine porcelain.]
Edited 2018-10-06 21:02 (UTC)